Former Nun Publishes Christian Fantasy ‘BS (Before Satan)’


New book by Elisa Guajardo Carothers is “a chance to see Lucifer before the fall.”

Elisa Guajardo Carothers is a jack of many trades. Once an extra in Larger Than Life, a movie starring Bill Murray, and then a nun, she is now an author who also performs as a mermaid.

Former Nun Publishes Christian Fantasy ‘BS (Before Satan)'[/tweetthis]

Her latest book, a Christian fantasy fiction entitled You Know BC and AD, Here is BS! (Before Satan), is “a comedic look at the dysfunctions of God’s family, before Lucifer was sent to hell.”

Carothers describes the book as “a chance to see Lucifer before the fall. Everyone knows he was once an angel, but my book really demonstrates how he was God’s favorite and adored by the other angels. He had it all and lost it.”

As a fan of the Bible and angel lore, Carothers used some of her childhood experiences to write the novel.

“Growing up in a large family, I often wondered if God’s angels ever dealt with similar family issues,” Carothers said. “What if it hurt the Archangel Michael to kick out Lucifer? Maybe they were brothers.”

The following is an excerpt from You Know BC and AD, Here is BS! (Before Satan):

Yahweh took a deep breath and released it. A nine foot cloud hovered over the sea of glass. God began withdrawing the best components from each level of Heaven to assist in the evolution of this angel. The first realm provided dazzle from each star. The second level added a pepper of detailed snowflakes. The Garden of Eden provided a touch of pomegranate juice from the tree of life. God obtained sparkle from every vitric jewel on the fourth realm. Yahweh then began to mingle white flames from realm five. The fifth level of Heaven was a military training arena with diamond floors, and copious amounts of artillery; there was also a blacksmith shop which held a burning stove, this is where God took the fire from. “Flames to forge metals will give him great strength!” Yahweh proclaimed. The holy city Jerusalem provided Yahweh with fragrant frankincense from the temple. The seventh level Yahweh used to incorporate the sound of each musical instrument; this angel’s voice would be sweet nectar to the ears! The eighth realm permitted God to infuse every trifle of knowledge from each book in Opus Angelorum, no future creature would ever match this angel’s intelligence! “As for my level, we shall give you life!” Yahweh affirmed.

God clapped his hands, with a clash of thunder and lightning, an imperial seraph manifested. Yahweh’s heart jumped to his throat upon reviewing the spectacular angel. He had come out flawless. The angel’s face and figure were androgynous, he had no sexual organs. White plumage and furry tufts veiled his nicely toned body. The creature’s face was hypnotizing, finely chiseled with azure blue eyes, without pupils. The seraph’s skin was ivory; he had twelve lofty white wings, which he wrapped himself in. The angel bowed low with reverence to his creator, his long golden hair hung well past his waist to his tail feathers. “Your glorious mane of hair shimmers as much as the precious metal gold itself!” Yahweh gushed. “* Kadosh! Kadosh! Kadosh!” The resplendent creature chanted in a most mesmerizing voice. Yahweh stepped forward caressing the angel’s right cheek. “Ahhh! You can speak my native language of Hebrew! Yes I am holy, holy holy! So glad to see you digested level eight so well! You are absolutely stunning! Oy! I’m ver clempt! I must garb you in the finest of armor!” Yahweh snapped his fingers, in an instant the gorgeous angel found himself polished as a signet of perfection. God’s ideal angel was now shielded in white gold vestures capped with every ornate gem; carnelian, topaz, jasper, chrysolite, beryl, onyx, sapphire, carbuncle and emerald. The seraph illuminated Yahweh’s realm like a star gone super nova.

* Kadosh: Holy.

The debonair angel bowed again. “Oy! Enough of that!” Yahweh teased. “Now to name you! Hmmmmm what title befits such a ravishing angel?” He wondered. Yeshua whispered a suggestion into his father’s ear. “What about Lucifer? It means light bearer.” God hopped up and down with glee at the notion, causing Lucifer to skip back startled. “Yes! Lucifer will be your name! Do you like it most lovely one?” Yahweh asked. Lucifer kissed God’s right hand, causing the deity to blush.

You Know BC and AD, Here is BS! (Before Satan) is available on Amazon and Xlibris.


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